My husband’s parents and my mom were both living in Los Angeles at one point, but his dad had to leave Los Angeles to take a job on a tiny island surrounded by nothing but water, and my stepfather wanted to go to that same little island as well. Thus began a journey many years in the making that would lead my husband and I to the same place. In this vast world, we found each other. I’ve always had a strong sense of intuition (or as my mom calls it that “feeling”) and when I first saw my husband as just some random male in passing, I had “this feeling” that came out of nowhere that made me take notice of him. I remember that strange moment clearly. It wasn’t physical attraction, per se, it was a pull to something that I didn’t understand at that time what or why I was being pulled to. My “feelings” are more often right than wrong.
Today is my husband’s birthday, and the song that comes to mind on this day is “Let’s hear it for the boy” by Deniece Williams, not because it’s one of his favorite songs, but the lyrics could have been written about my husband – a song about a simple man that loves his lady and with whom he always has a real good time. When I first met my husband, he’d gone his whole life without having done much dancing or singing out loud, but today our days are filled with uncoordinated dancing and off-key signing, from both sides – these are the joys of “aging,” when you don’t care so much what other people think. He’s come a long way and we have much more free happiness in our lives.
My husband is who’d you’d simply call a good man with a big heart. He’s affectionate, caring, tender, giving, warm, and loving. He treats all people with equal respect – whether that’s his dad or a janitor he just met. The love he has for his parents is beautiful. The love he’s shown my mom is heart warming.
When I’m sick he rubs my back so I can be soothed and fall asleep a little easier. When a song comes on the radio that I start singing to, he instantly turns it up, not because he’s trying to drown out my voice (I could be delusional on this) but because he assumes I like the song. When I say I want to go volunteer at a food shelter, he instantly says “I want to come” rather than being asked or pushed to. My husband sees me in the most color-blind old home clothes, no makeup, hair unbrushed, legs unshaved, and it’s perfectly okay.
He enjoys cooking for me (score), and I’ve always considered this to be one of our greatest partnerships of sorts – he enjoys cooking for hours, I enjoy eating for hours (although he did almost kill me by pepper poisoning on our first date). When we lived in New York City, he walked miles upon miles even though he wasn’t much of a walker and his feet was in pain because he knew that I loved wandering and exploring and walking for hours. He patiently listens to me talking for hours about everything from injustice to our flawed medical system to films I love. He loves me unconditionally with all of my complexities and quirks.
Like all humans, we both have flaws and those not so sunny moments, but I can’t imagine a good day or bad day without him. We made it through some pretty rough times, we’ve seen each other at our worst, and yet our love today is stronger than it ever was. We’re pretty sure we’ll still be holding hands in our 80s if we’re blessed with health and time. And there will always be music. Happy Birthday, my incredible best friend!